i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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