That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize