I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
