just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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