normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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