It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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