Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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