She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
