No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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