how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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