can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize