He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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