Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
