no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
