So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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