oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
