If i come over, it means nothing
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
