Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Terrible idea I love it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
