Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
