you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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