Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the day after is always just damage control
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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