Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
