I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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