some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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