Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
