Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
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New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.