You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
