its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
