like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going