hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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