Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.