Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
