I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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