I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
