Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
