she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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