You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
