hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
