but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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