I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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