I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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