im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
