I'm going to jail i love you
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
