she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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