Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize