I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
