yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
