I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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