I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
