The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize