Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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