I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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