garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
