Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Randomize
