why didn't you poke me back
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If I die, sorry about rent.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
