In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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