time to smoke my breakfast
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
