your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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