Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
