Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
