DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Two words: blizzard sex
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
