She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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