Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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