I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
