did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
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Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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