okay pat passed out under dana's car
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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