i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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