the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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