that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
