Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
